Working Girl
I went shopping today to buy some slacks for an interview I have tomorrow.
Dressing up, for me, is equivalent to walking around with a large flashing sign on my head which reads, “I’m a jackass.” I hate dressing up so badly I have told everyone close to me that when I die, no one is allowed to wear a skirt or slacks to my funeral - people are to come in jeans and a sweatshirt (I do live in Washington. It rains a lot here, so a sweatshirt is probably appropriate.). Of course, I’ll have no way of knowing if my parting wish is fulfilled. After all, I’m not planning on rising from the grave to give a Tim Gunn (Project Runway) like speech about what everyone is wearing. I just want everyone to be comfortable! Is that too much to ask? I picture everyone nestled around my tombstone singing John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Road,” in flannel shirts and faded blue jeans. It makes me smile to picture this and gives me a strange sense of solace and warmth. Comfort. That’s what my life has been about so far. And that’s what I want everyone to feel when they’re dealing with my death.
The truth is, formal wear is not comfortable. It wasn’t made to be comfortable. Its the adult equivalent of school uniforms and who, as a child, wanted to wear a uniform to school? We all look the same and wear the same ridiculous khaki or black slacks with a blouse or button down shirt of some sort. We’re like trained monkeys. Funeral - dress wear. Work - dress wear. Wedding - dress wear. Church - dress wear. Party - dress wear. Dinner at a restaurant - dress wear. You know what this says to me? Not only does God not want to see me in my Levi’s, but neither do any of my friends or co-workers. The sad part is that I know most of us run home after a day in these suffocating outfits and strip them off as quickly as possible, like they are made of nitroglycerin and have an expiration date.
My sister and my mother insist that they enjoy dressing up. Many people do. But this isn’t true. What they enjoy is everyone complimenting them on their choice in clothing, their sense of style, like they’re being appraised for an art gallery and going to be hung on the wall. They dress for everyone else, not for themselves. My refusal to dress up for weddings or funerals is perhaps the only non-conformist attribute I have left from my youth. I just can’t help but feel that everyone dresses up for all the wrong reasons - for everyone else.
Furthermore, my sense of self-esteem and attitude are attached to the clothing I wear. If I am comfortable in what I am wearing, I am ten times more likely to be kind and considerate to the people around me. If I’m uncomfortable in what I am wearing, well, I’m just as likely to bite your head off and throw your body in the nearest river. I think better, I react better, and I work better when I am in comfortable the clothing I am wearing. Yes, dress wear is like donning a cloak of anxiety/depression - society’s way of telling you that you weren’t beautiful enough to walk out the door in the first place.
To be honest, I feel like a prostitute. Tomorrow I’ll wake up, pull the slacks from the drawer and put them on just so I can impress the corporate machine. Its just as bad as pulling high-heeled leather boots onto your feet and walking the street corner. It isn’t you. It isn’t the person you know and like or want to be… but you have no choice. Money is money and I need it. I want the job. I just don’t want to sell myself to get it.
I know the feeling.
For years I have felt that I should be more religious, but I can't get myself to ...
Nice piece. I will have to check out this show. I certainly have a thing for stories in which people, ...
That's a hard one. I'd probably choose to be in Guitar Hero 3 or Rock Band, playing the base.. ...
Adam,
However, if formal wear, by society's standards, was a pair of Levi jeans and a t-shirt then this is what ...
Comment by jmattm on 15 April 2008:
Trained monkeys…Yes, yes we are. LoL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a15KgyXBX24
Comment by Adam on 16 April 2008:
You can wear dress wear without looking like everyone else. I do it all the time.
For me, it’s all about colors and color combinations. If you can spot color trends and know which colors and shades work well together (or know someone who does), your dress shirts and T-shirts are not limited to white and your dress pants are not limited to black, brown, gray and khaki (or whatever the female equivalents are). Then you have a wide variety of colors to choose from, and you can look professional without looking anonymous.
As I get older, I increasingly feel that it is important for people to dress appropriately for occasions, or at least appear to care about their appearances. I wonder what else people don’t care about when they look like they don’t care about how they look. (You could say that being comfortable makes me uncomfortable.)
Societal? Perhaps. But even if casual wear were considered appropriate all the time, I think that I would still have trouble taking someone seriously if he or she looked like he or she had just gotten out of bed.
And, at least for me, dressing up is not about getting compliments. I wear dress shirts almost every day, even on days when I have no contact with anyone else.
Comment by Tasha Ward on 16 April 2008:
Adam,
However, if formal wear, by society’s standards, was a pair of Levi jeans and a t-shirt then this is what everyone would wear to work and to funerals. It is society’s perception of how one should look while attending certain events that has led to formal wear. I thought about this at great length last night - where did formal wear come from and why did it become a mainstay in our society? Then, it occurred to me that I had actually read something about this in my historical research… formal wear (or a form of it) originated with royal families. It was a way by which the rich and powerful distinguished themselves from commoners. The more elaborate and rich the detail was on an outfit, the more powerful you were. The Industrial Revolution is the catalyst for commoners gaining access to items that were once only available to the rich. The reason for this is because the Industrial Revolution minimized the cost of production. So, garments which once had to be hand sewn my colonists in the New World and Europe were now available to the mass market. To have the ability to buy a beautifully embroidered shirt was a wondrous thing. So, millions of people rushed to buy these items off the shelf so they could look and act like royalty. This, of course, is an aspect of society that sociologists have been studying for years - people’s need to have or buy things that make them appear to be better or more wealthy than they truly are. Cars are another example of this. No one needs a Cadillac Escalade, but people want them because the majority of Americans are aware they cost an astronomical amount of money (Around $60,000 - you could make a down payment on a house with that kind of money). Whether or not we like to accept this fact, a huge percentage of people want others to “Oooh” and “Awww” at their car, to make others believe they have more money than they really do. Want evidence of this? Drive past a trailer park and look at some of the vehicles parked on the lot. I’ve been in some houses in Washington state that should be burned to the ground because they smell so bad and are in a state of disarray no tornado could claim responsibility for it. Yet, outside sits a Ford F-350, washed, clean on the inside and out. It makes absolutely no sense. But hell, more people see you inside your car than inside your house… so maybe this is how these people rationalize this chaos?
My point is that people want to look like they fit into a world of money and riches, when in fact, most of us cannot claim this. We wouldn’t be wearing dress shirts and slacks if it weren’t for the fact that for hundreds of years royalty was the Ralph Lauren of fashion. So, essentially, we’re all dressing up like jackasses so that we can fit into some realm of society we don’t belong to.
You say, “As I get older, I increasingly feel that it is important for people to dress appropriately for occasions, or at least appear to care about their appearances,” and my response to this is… you wouldn’t think or act this way if it weren’t for the thousands of people before you who drove common people into pompous, ridiculous looking outfits. What am I saying by arriving at an interview in slacks and a blouse? I’ll tell you what this says, “I am desperate enough to sacrifice my sense of fashion and my comfort to work for you, because I am a slave to your desires.” Do you know what it says to clients and people who walk in the door to seek out the services of your company? “Professionalism.” That’s why they expect you to dress up in these ridiculously uncomfortable outfits and perform any number of tasks. Trust me, employees dress for the status of their employer, not for themselves. You wouldn’t wear a suit and a tie to work at McDonald’s because McDonald’s is understood to hire the poor. So, they’re given uniforms. If you’re dressing for a Fortune 500 company you’d better be paying as much attention to your attire as the President does to his. Clothing is still a status symbol… just in a different sense. You’ll take someone more seriously if their in a pants suit because it represents more power, whereas the McDonald’s uniform reeks of poverty.
This brings me back to my point, we’re all a bunch of trained monkeys and I loved JMattM’s posted video clip, which I couldn’t agree with more.